Pigboat Explosion Kills iPhone Love Child Off Baja California Coast
A boat laden with genetically engineered pigs sunk this morning off the coast of Tijuana. The lone survivor later died at a hospital of explosive diarrhea of the battery compartment.
The identity of the survivor who died at hospital was revealed as Faker McJobs of Tijuana, the on-ship entertainer. Mr. McJobs, 2GB, lived a somewhat infamous lifestyle as he claimed to be the love child of the Apple iPhone and a Mexican prostitute, conceived during a drunken spring break excursion. The iPhone disavows any relationship to Mr. McJobs, but did admit to a weakness for cheap tequila.
Mr. McJobs is survived by his cousin, Meizu, who was recently deported from Germany under suspicion of running an illegal media transport ring between China and Western Europe.
The cause of the boat’s explosion is still under investigation.